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Sunday, November 6, 2011 am            Return to Godly Homes Index

GODLY HOMES IN AN UNGODLY WORLD – 4
Divorce and Remarriage 2

 Today we continue our study of this most important and relevant topic – homes that are built based upon Biblical principles.  Thus far we have addressed the purpose of marriage and in our last lesson we discussed the sin of divorce.  We noted that this is not a popular subject, nor is it pleasant – but that does not change what God’s word says.  Society doesn’t value marriage as in times past and has sought to redefine it with more permissive guidelines.  Divorce is permitted for virtually any reason and can be obtained with just a few documents and a check to the county clerk.  This past week, one of the major headlines was that Kim Kardashian filed for divorce against her newlywed husband Kris Humphries.  The filing came just 72 days after their $10 million dollar wedding that in my mind was a part of the reality TRASH TV environment that is so popular today, especially among our youth.  The blogs are all over the place in discussing this including many of her fans that feel so sorry for her and some expressing what a wonderful role model she is.  And you wonder why Godly values are not valued today?  Did you know that this was actually Kardashian’s 2^nd marriage?  In 2000 she was married to Damon Thomas, a marriage which lasted only about 4 years.  This event and the reaction is an indication of how divided our society is on the subject of marriage and divorce. 

And even among our own brethren, we find that the godly principles of marriage for life are under assault. Clear passages of scripture have been reinterpreted to allow divorce and remarriage for reasons beyond those permitted in scripture.  Depending on who you talk to, some prominent brethren advocate that there is little or no remarriage that is not recognized by God (you might say some brethren have their own ‘no fault divorce’ decrees).  But no matter what man does to the text, whether he likes what it says or not, or how emotional the issues are, it doesn’t change what the Bible says!  That will become evident as this lesson continues.

In our last lesson we noted that divorce ALWAYS involves sin.  Even when an innocent party puts away their spouse for fornication, while that party does not sin in this act, it was sin that tragically made the divorce possible.  We saw that God intends for marriage to be for life (“till death do us part” – Gen. 2:24, Matt. 19:4-6, Rom. 7:2-3, 1 Cor. 7:39), that He hates divorce (Mal. 2:13-16), and that we cannot divorce for just any reason (Matt. 19:8-9, 5:31-32, Mark 10:1-12, 1 Cor. 7:10-16) – to divorce and remarry can involve adultery.

In our lesson today we want to talk about who can remarry.  That may not be a good term because what we are talking about is who can marry a second time.  We will examine some terms, what the Bible says about “remarriage”, and notice some ways the Bible is reinterpreted to permit multiple marriages in a person’s life.

 I.                    Defining the terms

a.        What is marriage?
Biblically, marriage is the joining together of a man and woman as husband and wife which becomes the foundation for a home and family.  It is clarified in Gen. 2:24 which says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”   To this Jesus added, “Therefore, what God has joined together do not let man separate.” (Matt. 19:6)

b.       What is divorce?
Biblically, it is the dissolving of such a relationship either in the eyes of man alone OR in the eyes of God and man under certain conditions which He recognizes as just cause for dissolution of the marriage union, namely “for the cause of fornication.” (Matt. 19:9)

c.        What is remarriage?
It is entering into a second marriage with another spouse after a previous marriage is dissolved, either scripturally or unscripturally.  If unscriptural, God sees the marriage as an adulterous relationship.

d.       What is fornication?
We need a clear definition of this, because it is the provision for which the innocent party is permitted to divorce and remarry.  And this word is manipulated to affect who it applies to.
The word (translated “sexual immorality” in some texts and versions and “fornication” in others) in the Greek language is the word pornei/a (porneia).  It is defined as a word that describes “every kind of unlawful sexual intercourse”[1]
The Tynadale Bible Dictionary says, “Its general meaning refers to every kind of illegal sexual intercourse, that is, any intercourse except that between a husband and wife. ^[2]
It was used often in scripture to describe Israel’s unfaithfulness to God.  Comparing the faithfulness expected in the marriage relationship to that which should have existed between God and Israel, their idolatry was considered harlotry (fornication) (cf. Ezek. 16:15, 22, Hos. 9:1, etc. – usually harlotry)  and in the New Testament it was used to describe the unfaithfulness of Babylon and the harlot  against  worshipping God (Rev. 14:8, 17:2, 18:3, etc.)
The term is used broadly in various lists of sins and is associated with all forms of unlawful sexual relations (Matt. 15:19, 1 Cor. 6:9, Gal. 5:19, Eph. 5:3-5, Col. 3:5, Heb. 13:4, Rev. 21:8). 
Fornication includes: Adultery, homosexuality, incest, harlotry, bestiality, prostitution, etc. 
I was told after last week’s lesson of a congregation in which a wife came to the elders because her husband was guilty of sodomy (in the act of homosexuality).  They said because his unfaithfulness was NOT between a man and a woman it was not grounds for divorce.  That disregards the broadness of the term fornication. 

e.       What is adultery?
Vine’s, “denotes one who has unlawful intercourse with the spouse of another.”[3]
Simply stated, adultery is committing fornication while married.  IT involves sexual relations with someone other than your lawful spouse.
How is it distinguished from fornication?  Actually it is a FORM OF fornication.  Nelson simply makes the distinction saying, “The technical distinction between fornication and Adultery is that adultery involves married persons while fornication involves at least one person who is unmarried.^[4]

 

 II.                  Who can remarry?

a.        In dealing with the subject of divorce, we have to discuss those who marry multiple times (remarriage).  This is a subject that has brought about much division among the Lord’s church.  It is also an emotional subject that involves homes and relationships.  BUT the Bible is CLEAR about the matter.  The problem is that man doesn’t like what God’s word says about this and therefore seeks a way around it. (You can call this a “comfort doctrine). 

b.       Is it possible for there to be marriages that God does NOT recognize as valid?  According to scripture, the answer is YES! 

                                                   i.      Mathew 14:3-4 finds John the Baptist in prison.  It reads, “For Herod had laid hold of John and bound him, and put him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip's wife. 4 Because John had said to him, "It is not lawful for you to have her." 5 And although he wanted to put him to death, he feared the multitude, because they counted him as a prophet.”  NOTE how John was arrested by Herod and the reason is because John told him his marriage was “unlawful”.  You have a clear example of an unlawful marriage.

                                                  ii.      In Ezra 9-10, after Judah returned from Babylonian captivity they began to intermarry with pagan nations (again).  This was in DIRECT disobedience to God’s instructions for them.  As a result, they were confronted by Ezra and called upon to repent.  As a part of their repentance they were commanded to put away their pagan wives (some of whom had children) – 10:2-4, 10, etc.  I present this example simply to show there were marriages that God DID NOT recognize because they violated His commands.  The result was that these marriages had to be dissolved.

                                                iii.      Read again Matthew 5:31-32 it describes that one who marries (aorist tense verb) her who is divorced commits adultery (a present tense verb).  Clearly if one is in the act of adultery they are in sin and need to repent.  The Bible says adulterers will be lost (1 Cor. 6:9-10, Heb. 13:4, Gal. 5:19, etc.).

c.        There are TWO reasons in scripture for which one can remarry.

                                                   i.      The death of your spouse - Romans 7:3, “So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.”

                                                  ii.      For the cause of fornication - Matthew 19:3-9.

1.        Jesus is being tested by the Pharisees concerning divorce.  He is asked if divorce is lawful.  Jesus answers with a text we have examined in this study.  From the beginning God intended for man to marry for life.  The strength of it is seen in the statement, “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” (19:6).  Friends THIS IS THE RULE!!!!!

2.       When asked why Moses (under the Old Law) permitted divorce, Jesus said, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.” (Matt. 19:8)   NOTE God’s intent for marriage PREDATED the Law of Moses.  I was intended to be for life!

3.       But in vs. 8-9, Jesus gives a single exception for divorce and remarriage to be acceptable – adultery.  It reads as follows: “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." (Matt. 19:9 – NKJV)

4.       The wording permits the INNOCENT party to put away (divorce) the guilty party and to remarry.  The wording makes NO provision for the guilty party to remarry.

5.       The KJV & NKJV based upon some early manuscripts, add after this exception, “and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” (The NASU do not include this phrase, except in a footnote)
While this expression is not found universally in early manuscripts, it is a repetition of Matt.5:32. NOTICE that the one who is divorced (the one acted against or put away) is NOT given a provision to remarry in the text.  IN Matthew 5:32 (which does not include the remarriage exception), the phrase “and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” QUALIFIES the previous statement, “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality (fornication –TT) causes her to commit adultery.”  The way it is written – the GUILTY party cannot remarry without being guilty of adultery and causing the one who marries her to commit adultery.  WHY is this adulterous?  Because God does NOT recognize the remarriage.

                                                iii.      Are you truly innocent?  While there is NEVER a justifiable reason for one to commit adultery, quite often the one violated is not totally innocent.  They need to consider this when they weigh their options.  For example:

1.       Has the husband or wife fulfilled their roles toward their spouse (1 Cor. 7:1-5)

2.       Are we too selfish to try and work out our differences, causing stress in the marriage that drives spouses apart?

3.       Are we acting in an ungodly way toward our spouse or family – abuse (both physical and mental), neglect, etc.?

Continued in our next lesson.