Sunday, February 21, 2010 pm
Studies in 1 Corinthians (22)
To Marry or Not
1 Corinthians 7:1-9
a.
Paul is
answering a specific question
which is not mentioned.
i.
Perhaps it
was something similar to: Is it better for one to marry or to remain
unmarried?
ii.
Possible
reasons for such a request:
1.
Many Jews
viewed celibacy as less than holy.
In other words, there was great pressure to marry.
Consider this in light of the importance of lineage.
2.
The
Corinthian culture was filled with gross immorality and loose sexual
activity – both in their religion and in their society.
3.
It is
possible that some in Corinth were teaching some form of celibacy as
being a more holy state. If
so, they would have been pressuring some to conform to this. (Much like
the Pharisees who went overboard in their enforcement of the Law)
i.
Option 1 –
Remain unmarried – Vs. 1, “It is
good for a man not to touch a woman.”
The word “touch” is word that means “to fasten to” (Vine’s) and
is akin to getting married (Louw & Nida), rather than simply touching a
woman.
ii.
Option 2 –
Get married – Vs. 2, “Nevertheless,
because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let
each woman have her own husband.”
For some this is necessary! Because of sexual immorality each man is to
have his own wife and each woman is to have her own husband.
i.
NOTE: I
realize this is a sensitive subject.
It is uncomfortable to address and possibly uncomfortable to
listen to in this public venue, but it IS God’s word and it needs to
be learned.
Our young people need to be aware of these matters and they need to be
emphasized even more specifically in the home than they are here.
Marriage has been so trivialized in our society, especially in
the area of due affection, we as parents need to instill God’s values to
our children. These
teachings need to have a bearing as they seek a spouse with whom they
will spend the rest of their lives.
Don’t count on society to do an adequate job and don’t leave it
up to the church either!
As I address these matters in the systematic study of this book, I will
attempt to be as respectful and sensitive as possible, but the text
needs to be addressed.
ii.
Let
the husband render to his wife due affection, let the wife render to her
husband due affection.
1.
The “due
affection” here has reference primarily to sexual relations.
Paul’s point is that such belongs IN the marriage relationship.
As we have discussed in times past, all other sexual relations
are sinful and considered fornication (the word used in vs. 2).
We discussed this sin in our last lesson of this study.
2.
NOTE
the equality in these things.
Both husband and wife have equal responsibility in these matters.
Many of the problems that arise in this area are a product of
selfishness of either one partner or both.
Withholding “due affection” should NOT be used as a weapon against one’s
spouse to get your way. The
same could be said of unreasonable demands in this area to satisfy your
selfish cravings. The
marriage act must involve RESPECT for your partner.
iii.
Your body belongs to your spouse
–
1.
Paul
continues to emphasize how important this point is.
He says, “The wife does not
have authority over her own body, but the husband does.
And likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own
body, but the wife does.”
2.
There is
an important point about marriage to be made here.
It is a relationship in which both partners are to respect and
surrender to one another. In
the marriage relationship, “you are not your own”!
It is a PARTNERSHIP!
While the husband is certainly the head of the house, his wife is NOT
his slave! In
Genesis 2:24 we read, “Therefore
a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and
they shall become one flesh.”
You become JOINED together and are partners in this union.
You SHARE everything you have with your spouse.
Ephesians 5:25-29 speaks
clearly of the husband loving his wife and caring for her as he would
his own body. Similarly, the
wife LOVES her husband (Titus
2:5) and to honor him (Eph. 5:22).
It is a MUTUAL union!
Consider 1 Peter 3:1-4 (wives) and vs. 7 (husbands).
Paul’s point in this text, is that the husband and wife MUST
consider the needs of their mate, even in matters of “due affection”.
3.
“Do not deprive one another“(5),
(KJV and ASV use the expression, “Defraud ye not”) “except
with consent”. The term
“deprive” literally means, “to be rendered an orphan” (Strong’s Greek)
or deprived of something that should be yours.
Stated another way, Paul is saying, “FULFILL YOUR OBLIGATIONS TO
YOUR SPOUSE!”
iv.
What about the exception?
There is an exception, but there are “rules” to follow in this.
1.
It is only to be for a season
– lest they be tempted!
Whatever the married parties agree to ought to be TEMPORARY!
2.
It is for spiritual purposes
– to make one or both stronger as
Christians. It is
described as a time to “give
yourselves to fasting and prayer.”
NOTE: Being married does NOT
excuse you of your Christian duties to grow spiritually.
Godly families support one another in this growth!
3.
It must be with consent of both
parties – this is
important! Remember
everything we have discussed about the marriage union.
4.
Married partners, are you depriving
your spouse?
Why? IF you do
deprive your spouse, do you have any guilt if they give in to
temptation? Note in the text
Paul’s concern: “Come together
again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of
self-control.” (vs. 5)
i.
Paul says this as a concession
– In this statement Paul is NOT saying that what we read here is not the
word of God, but rather this is his preference (given his own
circumstances). The word
concession actually points to the idea of giving permission or agreement
(WS Dictionary of the NT).
Paul is saying, it is acceptable to remain single if you can
handle that.
ii.
Paul’s wish was that all were not married
– the reasons will be addressed in another lesson later in this chapter.
Summarized there were 3 reasons:
1.
Because of
the present distress (vs. 25) – they were facing times of severe
persecutions. It would be
easier for some if they did not have a family to worry about (not that
such was wrong).
2.
Because
those WITH a family NEEDED to be concerned about their well being. (33)
3.
Caring for
the family took away time and opportunity to serve the Lord
4.
(NOTE: I
must emphasize, it is NOT wrong to have a family!) (32)
iii.
But
he recognizes such is NOT suitable for all (vs. 7b). The “gift” Paul
speaks of here is the ability to be celibate AND the gift to get
married. I am reminded of
what Jesus said in Matt. 19:11-12.
After dealing with the restrictions on divorce and who can
remarry, his disciples observe that perhaps it is better not to marry.
Jesus responds, “Not all
men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given.
For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s
womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are
also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of
heaven. He who is able to
accept this, let him accept it.”
i.
Paul’s
conclusion of this section!
If you are tempted and cannot exercise self-control: GET MARRIED!
ii.
It is
better to marry than to burn – Paul is probably not talking here about
eternal condemnation, but a burning natural desire that needs to be
addressed. Both the NKJV and
NASU say, “It is better to marry
than to burn with passion.”
That is the implication.
a.
Does
this passage teach celibacy?
i.
Note: Paul
in this text is NOT advocating celibacy as superior to or more holy than
marriage! We have seen this
in studying the text. We
have seen that Paul viewed marriage with great respect -
Heb. 13:4, Ephesians 5:22-23.
ii.
Specifically, this passage in no way ties one entering the ministry to
whether or not they are married.
Peter was married (cf. 1 Cor. 9:5) and we read of other preachers
with families.
In fact, the passage is not even dealing with the ministry!
Furthermore, we cannot ignore
1 Tim. 4:3 where Paul is
speaking of some who would depart from the faith.
Among the teachings they would engage in included, “forbidding to marry and commanding to abstain from foods which God
created to be received….”
iii.
Consider
also the corruption sometimes prevalent with the demand for celibacy in
the Catholic priesthood – pedophilia rears its ugly head every once in a
while, as does homosexuality and other forms of fornication.
NOTE: This is not to indict all priests!
Some, I am sure, do control themselves and are proper examples
within their sphere. But
there are others who should be married to satisfy their natural urges.
The choice of the Catholic
church to impose this command on its priests (and nuns) is another
example of the consequences of disregarding the whole counsel of God.
i.
Vs. 2
clarifies this! ONE man for
ONE woman!
ii.
Like many
other things, polygamy was tolerated in the Old Testament but it was not
the best way and it was not the norm!
Multiple wives were often attached to affluence, rather than the
average family. Consider
Genesis 2:24 again.
iii.
This
passage presents A COMMAND that applies to our dispensation.
The verb in this verse (“let each man HAVE his own
wife, and let each woman HAVE
her own husband”) is in the present tense (ongoing action) and is in
the imperative mood (meaning something the speaker intends to be fully
realized, a command EXPECTED to be fulfilled).
iv.
Nowhere in
the New Testament is polygamy ever implied as acceptable!
i.
There is
reason why general divorce is not acceptable to God.
Malachi 2:16 states that God hates divorce because it covers
one’s garment with violence.
ii.
Matthew 19:9 gives only
ONE exception under which God will accept divorce and remarriage - the
innocent spouse that has been violated through the act of adultery.
iii.
One of the
chief reasons for high divorce rates is that spouses are not faithful in
fulfilling their responsibilities in their marriages.
This is not limited to “rendering due affection” but can include
a failure to love, treat properly, or honor their mate.
We need to work hard at preserving marriage!
We cannot trivialize the union OR our responsibilities therein!
Paul drives that home in our text and in so many others.
i.
We have
emphasized self-control on many occasions.
It is a must in every aspect of the Christian life.
ii.
2
Peter 1:6, Galatians 5:23, 1 Corinthians 9:25, etc.
iii.
We need to
take steps to maintain self-control in our lives.
Every sin you commit, will in some way be a result of a failure
to control yourself.